With Some Help
by QuidditchNerd99
Summary: Sirius has a big secret. Remus wants to know. But when Sirius finally snaps and tells Remus the truth, will they become closer or be driven farther apart?


"Oh come on, Remus! Don't leave me here to die!" Sirius pouted, puppy-dog eyes aimed at said werewolf.

"I'm just going to the library to study for a few hours. Something you should be doing as well," Remus started in an amused tone. "Pads, you don't have to be so dramatic, Prongs should be back soon. You don't have to worry."

"But alone, Moony-dearest, the boredom, the pain, the agony! My suffering will be on you, don't you forget that."

They were alone in the dorm, James attempting to woo Lily while Peter was sneaking down to the kitchens to grab some food. Sirius was hanging upside down on Remus' bed, moaning about being left alone while Remus stood near him, arms crossed in exasperation.

"You know you can join me, right? One day of studying won't kill you," Remus suggested. Every minute he spent with Sirius was digging into the precious hours he had for studying. With his 'furry problem', keeping his friends out of trouble, and classes, it was no surprise he wanted to get a jump on the OWLs. But at the same time, he couldn't get enough of Sirius' proximity. It wasn't very often that they were alone together for long periods of time, and he savored every second.

Sirius hissed as if in pain, flipping onto his stomach. "Me?! Study?! No way, Moony, the OWLs are still a long time coming. Now, I wouldn't be opposed to studying you!" He leered.

Remus turned as red as a tomato. Flirting was another problem; he knew that Sirius flirted with every living thing, but as always, he would store it in his mind for later, imagining himself as that special one that Sirius would love forever. "Whatever, Pads, I'm leaving. Goodbye. And tell Prongs that the book he wanted to borrow from me is on my nightstand. DO NOT TOUCH IT, and be nice to Wormy. Oh, and I don't want to hear you moaning about how unfair your life is or that everyone is abandoning you or anything like that. If I do, I will extend my library visit an extra two hours." And with that he was off to the library to (hopefully) study in peace.

Other than hearing Peeves cackle maniacally in the distance, the walk was tame and Remus spent it reflecting on how beautiful Sirius looked and his small, pleased grin when Remus coloured at the shameless flirting. Beautiful. Maybe not the word most people would use to describe him, but Remus thought it suited him. Beautiful. His angular cheekbones, or his long lashes which brushed his cheeks when he blinked, his lean, muscular body, the lilting laugh which only those who he truly trusted (the Marauders) ever heard, or those grey eyes that sparkled with emotion. No, Sirius Black was beautiful inside and out. Remus was smitten. Oh man, was he ever smitten. In fact, he might even call it …love. Oh no, thought Remus, he was screwed.

Since the time he arrived at the library, he hadn't been able to study, dreaming about Sirius instead, and after re-reading the same paragraph four times, he decided to close the book and head back to the Common Room.

Walking up to the dormitory after not finding any of the Marauders lounging in the Gryffindor Common Room, Remus' suspicions were raised. Peace and quiet was rare up in their dorms; either James and Sirius were wrestling, or they were playing Gobstones or Wizards Chess, or they would be concocting another far-fetched plan for James to woo Lily. In fact, as Remus would recall, the only times it was ever quiet was when they were sleeping, planning a prank, fetching food, or outdoors. Peter had just fetched food, it was gloomy and cold outside, and it was the middle of Saturday. The only thing that would make sense would be them planning a prank, but the Marauders always made sure that everyone was there. They didn't leave a man out, and they certainly never pranked each other… unless it was a well designed one built for Peter. So, after ruling all normal activity out, Remus was wisely suspicious of his friends and their whereabouts.

Silently creeping up to the door, he gently twisted the doorknob and, inch by inch, opened the door. He instantly saw them all. Peter was laying on his bed, facing away and reading some sort of magazine, and Sirius and James were quietly conversing at the foot of James' bed.

"-You should tell him soon, Sirius, the longer you wait the more you hurt both of you." Remus caught the tail end of what James was saying. He slowly crept closer to his bed to hear better.

"Yeah, mate, I see where you are coming from but I can't yet. I don't want to lose him, you know?"

"Pads, this is Moony we're talking about. Nothing you tell him could make him leave. Trust me-"

Just then Remus stepped on the loose board and any hopes of hearing more disappeared. "Just what does Sirius need to tell me? Why will both of us get hurt the longer he waits?" Remus asked, deciding that since he wasted his stealthy approach he would just use bluntness to get the point across.

Sirius and James exchanged guilty expressions. James elbowed him and hissed, "Now's your chance, mate, just go with it." They exchanged a quick non-verbal conversation which involved a lot of stomping feet, sticking out tongues, and hissing before Sirius booked it out of the dorms, grabbing the Cloak and the Map. The other two, flabbergasted as to his strange behavior, stood there with gaping mouths for a few seconds before recovering. And Peter, in typical Peter fashion, didn't even realize something so peculiar had just occurred.

Remus checked the owlery, the library, and almost everywhere else in the castle before deciding to grab his cloak and gloves and check the Quidditch Pitch. It was getting colder, he could see his breath in the air. Remus shivered and pulled his cloak tighter against himself, murmuring a warming charm under his breath. And that's when he saw him. Gliding high over the pitch in elegant swoops and harsh dives. He was beautiful, graceful. Remus' breath caught in his throat. Watching Sirius actually fly was rare. In Quidditch, he flew around, surveying the game, calculating, and always close, waiting to hit the Bludgers away from his teammates and towards the other team. That was just playing the game, not flying. No, when Sirius flew it was up high, with a twist of elegance, almost like a dance. He seemed to be born to fly, like he was a bird, carefree, happy, and free. Free from his worries about his parents and school and anything weighing him down.

Sitting down on the bleachers, he happily watched his friend for about half an hour or so. But then it happened. Sirius caught him. Scowling, he landed on the ground and dismounted a – as Remus just realized – school broom, obviously borrowed since he forgot to grab his own when he escaped from the dorm and James' bold suggestion. As quick as he could, he broke out into a fast pace towards the change room. Remus was faster. Although his joints – frozen with the cold – creaked and stiffened, he managed to sprint ahead, blocking the change rooms with his body. "Sirius, I need to talk to you."

"Not now, _Remus_," Sirius hissed at the taller man, almost spitting his name.

"Why not, Pads, now's a great time since we both are here and talking. Please, are you okay? I worry, Padfoot, you never do that. Is it your family? We can help you, you aren't alone. We love you, Pads, we care for you!" Remus flushed with that last sentence. They always said that to each other, but now that Remus knew that his love was something other than platonic, it was different. "And you shut us out and lick your wounds in the dark. We worry for you and Pads, it's _me_, you know you can tell me anything, right? I can help you. We can help you! Please, Pads, you are one of my best friends, and by isolating yourself from me you hurt both of us!" He finished, slightly out of breath.

"Don't push it, Moons. I can't tell you. Can't you see? By doing this to me you push me more. I came down here to be alone. I don't want to see you tonight. Please just leave."

"No, I won't, Padfoot. You are hurting right now, and what do you mean by pushing you away? You know I would never intentionally hurt any of my friends!"

"No," He began gruffly, "see, there you go again! I know you wouldn't try to hurt us, Moons, but I just can't right now."

"Please, Sirius, please, just let me help!" Remus was begging, a hairs width away from bursting into tears. "What did I do? I can fix it, I swear! Please…"

"Fine, you want to know what's bloody up with me?" Sirius' voice was increasing in pitch, words being thrown scathingly. "Why I can't bloody handle you right now? Why I can never think of anything else other than you? Why when I do my homework or behave is because I think of how happy you'll be? Why I though of the Animagus idea to make you smile? Or how about all those jokes I come up with to make you laugh? Yeah, that's what I thought," He said in a slightly softer and sadder tone, mistaking the werewolf's silence for anger or disgust. "I, Sirius Orion Black am completely and totally in love with you, Remus John Lupin. And that's why it hurts when you go and call me just a friend, or brush off my flirting, and I know I can't have you, but it doesn't stop me from wanting it. I want it all with you, Remus. I just… Never mind. If you were wondering, that's what James wanted me to tell you. I guess he was wrong." Sirius uttered a bitter, humorless, self-deprecating laugh, kicking a clump of grass under his boots. "Look, if you want to switch dorms, don't worry. If it bothers you I can change. James and Peter need you. …I need you," he said that last part so quietly, if it weren't for Remus' enhanced hearing, he wouldn't have picked up that sad, terribly sad statement. "Besides, they don't need me. Who needs me? All I am is a big disappointment. Trust me, you guys won't even care that I am gone in a few days of time. No one misses me. But I do love you, Remus, for the rest of my life too. I'm sorry." And with that he was rushing towards the castle, donning the Invisibility Cloak half way up the steps. And for a few minutes Remus stood there, shocked into a stupor. Then he acted.

Racing towards the castle, he tripped on a rock, falling, slicing open his knee and cursing. Every moment lost could be another moment closer to never being able to speak to Sirius again.

Remus burst into their dorms panting and flushed. Gasping for breath, he reached Sirius' bed and touched Sirius' back. As Sirius turned, Remus quickly planted his lips on the other's. And it was magical. The only word he could use to describe it. Sirius stiffened, and then relaxed into the lycanthrope's touch. And then Sirius was kissing back and his hands were ruffling his brown hair and Remus curled his hands into the front of the raven-haired boy's robes as if he would never let him go ever again. When they broke it off to come up for air, he gazed into the Animagus' eyes.

"Sirius, you'd have to be stupid to think that I could ever not love you. And we would always miss you. You are not a mess up in our eyes. You are perfect. I mean, accepting who I was and the Animagus was already so much. Loving me was never something I believed anyone could do. And you flirt with everyone so I thought you were just teasing. But I love you so much and I can't ever stop thinking about you and it hurt me so much to see you hating yourself so much. Please don't. You are absolutely beautiful, and if you'll accept my offer, hopefully you will be mine. Forever." He growled. "So," at that he drew a huge breath, "Sirius, I love you so much, and I will try to make you as happy as is in my power. And I know I nag and I have that 'problem' and I am boring and lame and I don't know what you see in me, but willyougooutwithme?"

"Remus, you are so wonderful and caring and smart and gorgeous and I love you so much. Of course I will go out with you!" They both were silently crying, tears leaving salty paths down their cheeks. "Oh gosh, this sounds like a soppy romance film, we are so stupid!"

"…Ahem…" The boys started at James' coughing-like thing, forgetting that him and Peter were both there. "Well, now that you have that sorted out, lets go down to dinner. I am absolutely famished and I have a new poem I have for my dear Evans. Oh, and by the way, congratulations, but if either of you hurt the other, I will hunt you down and _end_ you."

Remus and Sirius relaxed when they realized that their friends were accepting them.

"You know I am never letting you go now, right?" Sirius asked, smirking.

"I was thinking along the same line as you. Now shut up and kiss me again!"

"I guess great minds think alike," Sirius said while chuckling, gasping when Remus jokingly told him that Sirius did not, in fact, have a great mind. "My Moony-bear-darling-sweettums-baby-sweetheart-love, you wound me!" He exclaimed, clutching his chest where his heart lay.

Remus laughed before dipping down and kissing him again.

"Oh, and by the way, Wormy and I call you guys WolfStar, because you know, Remus is a wolf and you are named after a star system. Just thought you might want to know. Wish me luck with my new plan for my Evans darling!" James called, popping his head through the doorway,

"Hmm… WolfStar. I like it!" And with Remus nodding his agreement, Sirius grabbed his hand and proudly walked down into the Great Hall.

And if anyone noticed that Remus and Sirius were sitting closer or holding hands, no one said anything. And if James or Peter noticed that they started sleeping in the same bed to hold the nightmares at bay, they just happily nodded and fell back asleep happy that two of the most deserving people got each other to save them.


End file.
